19 Ways for a Man to Improve the Quality of His Intimacy

Toronto-Courtesan | 21 May 2017 - 14:03
19 Ways for a Man to Improve the Quality of His Intimacy

If your intimate life needs improving, it’s clear feedback pointing to something you’ve been doing to this moment.  Your quality of intimacy won’t improve unless you take action to improve it.  Placing the responsibility of improving it for you on others won’t get you anywhere either, so no excuse, you’ve gotta put yourself out if you wish to reap rewards.  Here’re 19 answers to the question how.  Your doctor won’t tell you these and they don’t cost a penny / centso go ahead – you’ve plenty to gain, nothing to lose!

1. If you are feeling miserable or depressed, check your eye line; where are you looking?   If you’re looking down, which is where your feelings are, hold your head level and raise your eyes to the skies; things will be looking up, you will lose many of the negative emotions, you may even start to laugh! It’s the cheapest form of antidepressants and certainly worth a try. 

2. If you are annoyed, upset, triggered by a bad experience, think ‘what can I learn from it’? It will be something positive and if you really learn it, you may not have to experience the same or similar bad event again, but instead just restart your learning.

3. Do you have thousands of things going on in your head at once until  you want to scream from deep inside?  Imagine the soles of your feet growing roots like a tree and let all that stuff drain off into the earth.  With a little practice you will be able to detect relief in your head. 

4. If you believe you can do something or if you believe you can’t, either way you will be right! What you believe you will achieve!

5. Do you suffer from headaches? Sit quietly for a few seconds and ask the headache what it is trying to tell you. The message is often very simple:  more water, more fresh air, less panic. So think how you can help yourself and just notice what happens to the headache.

6. Backache in the base of your spine and your buttocks is a particularly common place to feel pain when you are not grounded. Sit upright in a chair and imagine the pain descending through the chair into the ground and down into the earth. If you can let go of it like this, you will know it isn’t anything more serious.

7. Use your imagination for all the great things you are going to do this week/month/season/year. Get some clear pictures, sounds, and feelings together to really get you focused on success.

8. Work and socialise with people who inspire you, whom you have fun with and respect for. Life is too short not to.

9. Interesting points to mull over: minds are like parachutes – they only function when they are open. The fear of something is far worse than the thing itself.

10. How noisy is your inner critic? We can spend so long beating ourselves up after making a mistake and feeling terrible about it that we don’t have the energy to step back, learn from it, and move on. However bad the situation, there is bound to be positive learning we can draw from it.

11. If an event distresses you, clear the energy from this memory. It really works. Clearing energy for just 10 minutes a day will change your life.

12. Notice successes instead of just glossing over them. Start noticing what is working, congratulate yourself, and see how you can do more.  This will attract more success.

13. Successful Olympians don’t think about the goal, only about the process they need to follow to get there. For some of the most successful ones the medal comes as almost a surprise – this may have some impact on traditional goal setting!

14. Have you missed the sunshine this year and not had the usual fill up with energy? You may well be right, but everyone can make the most of whatever sunshine there is. Don’t damage your skin, just remember that a solar panel keeps going all year, and we could think of ourselves as mobile solar panels.  You can use your imagination to see a golden ball of energy drifting down onto the top of your head and feel it filling you up with lovely warmth.

15. A smile is irresistible! The natural reaction to a smile results in positive energy movement that replaces the negative pockets holding psyches captive. 

16. When you are stuck with illness, check out what you are telling yourself. If you keep telling yourself how bad it is, it will stay that way. If you imagine what it will be like when you are better and are grateful for those tiny improvements you notice, you will get what you imagine.

17. If you can’t sleep, get up, put your feet firmly on the floor to ground yourself, drink a glass of water, return to bed, and RELAX. Concentrate fully on relaxing every part of your body and mind, just let it sink into the bed…

18. See what happens if you suspend judgement on something – it is just an event; you don’t have to judge whether it is good or bad, it is just something that is happening.

19. Where do you draw energy from? Here’re 4 environments for different energies: forest, sea, desert, mountain. Which one energizes you? Is there one that drains your energy? Which ones resonate with you?  There are also subenergies, e.g. the sea to the river, to the lake, to the waterfall.

The forest is full of life. Trees are some of the greatest spiritual living energies on the planet. The forest is safe and encompassing; it is a shelter, food, and nutrition. The forest breathes as we breathe, and it is a connected and fragile place. Trees are very grounded deep into the soil to offer great stability.

The sea is constant flow. Movement and stillness, yin and yang, turmoil and peace. The sea has an ambience. On the surface there is the appearance of nothing.  Beneath the surface there is teeming life.

The mountains represent strength. They are very old. They have endured much of what has happened on this planet and they are still there. The tops of mountains are places of great wind, vision, and source of inspiration, as from the mountains you can see for miles and people have meditated on tops of mountains for long periods of time.

The desert is empty, yet full of life. The desert is space, it is clear. The desert has life, but you have to search for it. You can survive because the resources are everywhere. The desert is clear air.

Make time this week to place yourself in your appropriate energy and give yourself the time to absorb everything delivered by that energy to you. Climb a mountain, walk in a forest, swim in a sea, or walk in a desert (at least in your mind!). You will receive the advice or resources you need.


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